My approach to therapy
Essentially, therapy is a specific type of conversation between two people that is focused on the concerns of the person who is seeking help. I offer a regular time and place to meet, and my attention and experience in order to listen deeply to what is confusing, distressing and discouraging you.
The therapy hour can provide a temporary refuge from the outside world. It allows you to take a breath and say how things really are with you.
The Therapeutic Relationship
The nitty-gritty of therapy involves bringing issues that are troubling you into the room and allowing yourself the freedom to express what comes up. The therapeutic relationship between us creates a relational home for your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Then you may come to trust enough to remember and mourn what has been lost, try out new behaviours, heal old wounds, and look forward.
During appointments you can express distressing thoughts and emotions in ways that you might not feel comfortable to do with friends or family. With the people in your inner circle (if you’re fortunate enough to have one) you may hold back, fearful of being a burden or apprehensive about being judged. In therapy, you can say what you need to say without having to take care of anyone else.
What really matters to you?
My approach is for us to become curious together about what you’re doing and what’s preoccupying you. Where does it hurt? What do you want more of? What do you want less of? What really matters to you? As you would begin to emerge from the fog of confusion and frustration you can get to know yourself better. In rediscovering your own desires, versus those that others may have for you, you can move towards living and relating more authentically.
You are the only you that there is, was, or ever will be. So it’s a given that there can never be a generic, one-size-fits-all, plan for therapy. That said, it’s my experience that whatever the problem, when someone feels comfortable in the company of a non-judgmental and compassionate therapist, he or she can start to recover the wholeness of what it is to be human, participate more fully in their relationships, and engage with increasing courage and confidence in the outside world.