My approach to therapy

Each therapy session can provide a temporary refuge from the outside world. It allows you to breathe and say how things really are with you.

Therapy is a specific type of conversation between two people that is focused on the concerns of the person who is seeking help. I offer a regular time and place to meet, and my attention and experience in order to listen deeply to what is confusing, distressing, or discouraging you.

The nitty-gritty of therapy involves bringing issues that are troubling you into the room and allowing yourself the freedom to express what comes up. The therapeutic relationship between us creates a relational home for your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Then you may come to trust enough to remember and mourn what has been lost, try out new behaviours, recover from old wounds, and look forward.

What’s in your way?

During appointments you can express distressing thoughts and emotions in ways that you might not feel comfortable to do with friends or family. With the people in your inner circle you may hold back, worried about being a burden or concerned about being judged. In therapy, you can say what you need to say more freely and spontaneously.

Other things that can get in your way of being present are avoidance and distraction. You want things to get better but it seems like your focus and determination keep getting hijacked. You know what you need to do but getting yourself to do it isn’t so easy. We’d ask what is distracting you from getting into whatever it is that you think you might want to get into. Addressing avoidance and distraction is a key part of therapy.

What really matters to you?

My approach is for us to become curious about what you’re doing and what’s preoccupying you. What are you going through? Where does it hurt? What do you want less of? What do you want more of? What really matters to you? As you would get to know yourself better you can begin to emerge from the fog of frustration and confusion that has been limiting you. In rediscovering your own desires, versus those that others may have for you, you can move towards living and relating more authentically.

You are the only you that is, was, or ever will be. So there can never be a generic plan for therapy. That said, it’s my experience that whatever the problem, when you feel comfortable in the company of a non-judgmental and compassionate therapist, you can start to recover the wholeness of what it is to be human, participate more fully in your relationships, and engage with increasing courage and confidence in the outside world.